


Conversation Best Left Alone

by midnight12181



Category: Final Fantasy IV
Genre: Crack, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-09
Updated: 2011-08-09
Packaged: 2017-10-22 10:02:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/236890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnight12181/pseuds/midnight12181
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kain has a conversation with the contents of his pants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conversation Best Left Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Conversation Best Left Alone  
> Fandom: Final Fantasy IV  
> Author: Sprink  
> Rating: PG  
> Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply. Kain Highwind and Cecil Harvey are owned and operated by Square Enix.  
> Warnings: Crack, Man wants to be on Man action
> 
> Note: This is a very old fic. I've edited it a touch, but the core of it remains intact.

He was not lusting after his best friend. He was not. He swore it. Kain mentally huffed as he walked briskly down the hallway towards his room. Of all people to think that way about, why him? Why couldn't it have been that pretty little white mage? Or the chambermaid that once sprayed his sheets with her perfume? Or at least, if it must be a he, that gorgeous new dragoon recruit?

But no. It just had to be Cecil.

What was it about the dark knight in training? His pale hair? The determined look on his face when he tried to mimic the instructor's movements? The way his rippling ab muscles peeked out of his tunic bottom when he stretched just so?

Gods damn it all, he did not just think the phrase "rippling ab muscles."

Ducking his head, he walked past a pair of pointing, giggling servant girls. What they were giggling and pointing at was no where near as embarrassing as the thoughts about his best friend floating through his head.

"Nice shorts, Kain!" the brunette sing-songed, her cohort unable to add a witty comment due to her uncontrollable laughter.

Shorts? he thought before looking down to see that his thin cotton shorts were, indeed, very nice... and very tented. Blushing all shades of red, he hurried even faster down the hallway.

Kain managed to reach his room without any further incidents. Luckily, his embarrassment managed to calm his raging hormones - slightly. Locking the door behind him, he gazed, annoyed, between his legs.

"You hate me, don't you?" he asked the cause of his earlier embarrassment. "Next time, why don't you just pop out and say 'hello'?"

No response from his pants. Not that he really expected one anyway. In fact, it would be downright weird if his penis could talk. And downright dangerous. He could only imagine it.

"Come on, Kain," it would say, "Just ask him. I want to know what his mouth feels like."

"No," he responded. "Do you want me to die from embarrassment?"

"Nobody ever died from asking their best friend to give them head," it replied logically.

"Uh, no, there was that one guy..."

"Okay, fine. No one ever died from asking Cecil to give them head."

"How do you know?" Kain asked, dropping his shorts as he walked slowly towards the bed.

"I saw the way he was looking at me."

"What? When was he looking at you?" Kain's shirt was removed as well, leaving him very naked.

"Earlier." If Kain didn't know better, he'd swear his penis was smirking.

"Fuck, don't remind me," Kain groaned as he flopped face-first on the bed.

"OW! CRUSHING!"

"Sorry," he mumbled, rolling onto his back.

Wait a second.

"I was just having a conversation with my cock. I am fucking crazy." Kain's arm came up to cover his eyes.


End file.
